


Wistful

by Chocoboy_James



Category: FFXIV, Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:16:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24215035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chocoboy_James/pseuds/Chocoboy_James
Summary: I was having a down moment about Ilberd this evening and I couldn’t find any outlet until I began writing this down. It’s basically putting my feelings down about how I constantly feel about his character nowadays. I miss him, dearly. Conflicted, just constantly wishing he was there, filled with this constant feeling of wanting him back so badly.So I wrote it out in a piece of fanfiction, a conversation between my two OCs, James and Stefan Fortis.
Relationships: James Fortis / Stefan Fortis





	Wistful

What was this feeling. He couldn’t quite place it. James his cheeks were wet from the tears he previously had rolling down. A sniff escaped from him as he wiped them away. The blonde was sitting up on one of the many pillars that were part of Ala Mhigo’s amazing foundation.

A week or so ago, he finally had the chance to gaze upon it for the first time. Now that it was free once more, the sight had drastically changed for him. Not just seeing its beauty differently, but knowing someone could never see it again as it is now. Not having one final gaze of the, now, free city state. Knowing that he could finally rest in peace.

A soft sigh escaped from his lips. His tummy began to ache. But for what? The battle had ended. Grinding his teeth he again couldn’t deny it.  
How many times does he have to ponder about this, to keep getting stuck on it.  
What is done, is done. Ilberd is gone… 

But thinking that didn’t help, and his thoughts he tried so hard to barr out, came back rushing down, and so came his tears once more.  
“Why…” he sniffed out. “Gods why…”  
It was then footsteps approached him, and he looked over in shock, once more wiping his tears away, hoping the person didn’t see him cry. 

“James?”  
It was Stefan, who looked down with worry, his blue eyes showing confusion. “I couldn’t find you, your father told you to go to the healers for your leg! What are you even doing up here?” 

The blonde shamefully touched his wounded leg for a second, the cloth Stefan wrapped around it before was already drenched with blood.  
“My apologies…” James sighed softly. “I didn’t mean to-” once more his gaze turned towards the beauty that was Ala Mhigo. “I had some things to go over…”  
“What things?” Stefan asked and the tone in his voice made James feel that it was okay to let it all out. To be vulnerable. 

“You remember the tale I told you in Limsa, the day we met…?” He softly started.  
“I do,” Stefan answered softly, “I now sense the same kind of tension from you.”, carefully he grabbed James’ hand. “You know I will listen, that I care deeply about you.”  
The blonde made a small nod, and felt his tears forming in his eyes once more. 

“I…” he stopped right there, his breath skipped a moment as he closed his eyes. All he could see was that night they parted ways. “I miss him, Stefan…”  
“Ilberd?” his fiance asked back, remembering full well this has always been a heavy weight on James. “But- why?”  
Once more the blonde began to stammer. “I- I…” 

A silence fell. 

It was time to pin down what he really felt, it wasn’t just the crush he once had for the man, or the admiration, it was just one big pile of conflicting feelings.  
“He should be here…” he then mumbled out. “He gave everything, even his life, to free Ala Mhigo…” 

“Oh my dearest.” Stefan hushed and stroked out a blonde lock out of James’ face. James looked towards him, and leaned towards his chest. Stefan gently hugged him closer. “Having these wistful feelings is normal.” he gently began to stroke through the hair of James. “I know it is hard to accept, it takes time.”

“It’s just unfair.” James began to sob. “Why did it have to turn out this way. I couldn’t stop him… He was too far gone... It all could have gone differently...”  
“It’s fine, my love.” Stefan quietly hushed, and tightened the hug a bit, even giving a peck on the head. “Let it all out.”  
When James heard these words, he let all his emotions flow, his sobbing was probably heard yalms away, but he didn’t care. 

“I am fairly sure he’ll be proud.” Stefan then suddenly mentioned. “That he knows.”  
James’ crying stopped and he carefully looked over to the raven, who gently smiled over.  
“I am sure he’s proud that you fought with, that your training with him has paid off, your promise fulfilled.”  
James blinked a few times, feeling a slight bit of shock now recalling the times he shared with Ilberd before it all went wrong. The training at the Crystal Braves, the talks they had, the promise James made to help free Ala Mhigo if given the chance. 

“You really think so?” the blonde made a sniff, sitting up and blushing slightly.  
“Yes, I really think so.” Stefan made a nod, “I know you are not strong in beliefs, but allow me to tell you what we claim happens to those who pass.”  
James listened intently as Stefan spoke about the Kami, and how those who pass, continue to inhabit this very world. 

The more Stefan spoke about it, the more James calmed down. The sun was already setting when the raven finished his tale.  
“Thank you…” James mumbled softly, now feeling weirdly tranquil, trying to make sense of what his fiance just mentioned to him. It was true, he wasn’t much of a believer, but after Stefan’s story, he felt a bit more closure.  
“It was the least I could do.”  
James smiled softly, feeling lucky that he had a fiance like Stefan. 

Together they watched the sunset in silence, holding their hands. Although the moment the darkness fell over the Lochs, Stefan made a soft nudge on James’ shoulder.  
“Now, I do believe I have to drag you to the healers, before you end up making matters worse.”  
“Right…” James gritted his teeth, and suddenly felt his leg itch. Standing up carefully, as he leaned on Stefan for balance, they both began to descent the staircase that led to the resistance camp. As they got closer the duo began to hear people cheering and singing, clearly enjoying their moment of victory. James smiled widely as he listened to the sounds of joyfulness, believing that somewhere Ilberd is finally smiling down with pride, knowing that Ala Mhigo is finally free.


End file.
